Second chances
by thelastbumblebee
Summary: Modern A/U set in Leeds, Anna is an A&E nurse who meets to gallant, charming and mysterious Mr Bates. My first story - so please review - thanks! x
1. Chapter 1

Anna pulled on a jumper over her pyjamas, her flat was freezing, and by the time the heating would kick in she would be half way to work. Her mug of tea woke her up enough to focus on the news headlines being piped through the radio in amongst the pop music and adverts for a wedding fayre and a 2nd handcar showroom off the A368. " _… a further 18 month contract has been awarded to the Braime pressings factory in Leeds, helping to put to bed fears of further redundancies after cut backs in May ... " _Anna reached over and switched off the radio – the health of Yorkshires manufacturing industry would have to wait, she had work to do.

Jumping off her bike and chaining it to the rack, Anna walked into A&E, the organized chaos of the night shift was subsiding, the drunks had either been sobered up and shipped off or admitted. And the morning rush of people who would get hit on their way to work, or scold themselves with kettles of boiling water had yet to turn up. Anna pulled on her scrubs, locked her locker and rounded on Daisy. Student nurse Daisy, was hard to dislike, but spending time with her required the patience of a saint.

"Morning Daisy, how are you?"

"Morning – god I'm tired, are you tired?" she said yawning loudly and looking a bit like a kitten being held up by the scruff of it's neck.

"No – but then if you will spend all night out with Ethyl and Gwen …" she said with a laugh, tying her hair back she slipped out into the main room. She sat down behind the nurses station, running her eyes down the list of internal memos – endless red tape. Glancing up she spotted F1, Dr Mason, carrying two cups of coffee and looking lost.

"Morning William, she's in the staff room."

"Who?"

"Daisy … unless you're buying me coffee?"

"It's not for you … and I'm not looking for Daisy …" Anna raised an eyebrow at him as he turned and scurried off, carefully avoiding the staffroom door. Anna smiled to herself, she was glad that Daisy and William might be making something together – even if the idea of the two of them as a couple seemed oddly silly – like anthropomorphised field mice.

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><p>"Anna!"<p>

"Mr Carson?"

"We've got a serious impact injury coming in from the Braime factory … pelvic crush - ETA 8 minutes, prep resus and can some-one page the on-call ortho bods – this one sound pretty damn nasty."

"Jane – you do resus, I'll page Mr Mosely."

"Mr Mosely? Jesus – have we given up on the patients already? How that man became a surgeon Christ alone knows!"

"Oh sorry Thomas – did you want to do spinal surgery today?"

"Just saying."

"Look don't worry – I get it, it's a nice juicy ortho case – I'll make sure your down as anesthetist – but shall we try and get him stable first. Have we got a name Mr Clarkson – for the records?"

"It's a … Mathew Crawley,28, lawyer from Manchester."

"Oh well screw him then – lawyers are all parasites if you ask me."

"Oh don't worry Dr Barrow – no-one would dream of asking your opinion and then acting on it ."

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><p>Anna caught her hands on her knees, slopped over, inhaling deeply trying to get the salty metal smell of blood out of her lungs. The air out side the entrance was cold, -4 according to Gwen, who had caught a lift in with a man whose car had a thermometer, quite why, Anna wasn't sure.<p>

"Are you OK?" Said a voice from behind her, she jumped, spinning on her heels. Previously unseen by her, a man was sat behind her, he was tall and broad, his dark hair had begun to fall in his eyes and as he went to stand up Anna spotted the buckled knee and walking stick, even though he was probably only in his 40's. And he was handsome, not in a conventional pin up kind of a way, but he was good looking, kind looking, and as he looked at Anna she felt her stomach tighten and flutter.

"Yes … sorry … thank you." – you idiot - she thought to herself, - going to pieces over some man –

"I'm sorry to ask, but I saw you in there, you're one of the nurses who treated Mathew Crawley, I wanted to know how he is."

"Are you family? No? Well he's stable, our consultant Mr Carson's with him now, the orthopedic surgeon's on his way. I'm afraid I can't say more than that if you're not family."

"Of course – of course I understand." He took a step back, stubbing his cigarette out on the wall. " Nervous tick – filthy habit."

"All the best one's are." She replied, he smiled at her, and her stomach jumped again, the way his brown-green eyes looking right into her own, and the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, Anna realized she had been looking a fraction too long and broke away from his gaze.

"I need to get back to the factory, new contract and a press out of use – heads will roll. His cousin is one of the managers, Robert Crawley – could you telephone when there's news, he's stuck in his office."

"He didn't want to come to the hospital, he sent a colleague?" The tall Irishman smiled lightly again, extending an arm he said:

"John Bates, official right hand man … and floor manager." She shook his hand, it was big, much bigger than her own, and slightly scarred, years of manual labour had taken it's toll on his palms.

She stood in the entrance door, watching the man, Mr Bates, walk away into his waiting minicab. She almost wished she did smoke, anything to calm the pounding in her chest.

"Jesus – Christ." She whispered out loud. "Come on Anna – get a bloody grip." A hand caught her round the elbow, bringing her back to reality.

"Anna, get a frigging move on – or have you forgotten you're at work! Shiting hell Anna – you're meant to be the sensible one!"

Yes – thought Anna, I am the sensible one – and she followed Ethyl back inside!

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><p><em><strong>Wooo - so there it is! I hope you enjoyed it, I should say that I know Fuzzydream has just started a story - Misty rains, where Anna is a nurse. I am not plagiarizing, it's a coincidence. Read her story though - I recommend it!<strong>_

_**Please review and tell me what you think! And I'll try and get another chapter up by the end of the week!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hey guys, thanks for the reviews, keep going - it's great to hear what you think!**_

_**So this is where the A/B action starts to kick in, I hope you enjoy! **_

_**(btw - I am spell checking, but every now and then sp mistakes and punctuation ones are getting through - so sorry about that!**_

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><p>Anna leant against the counter stirring her coffee; barely listening to Ethyl's prattling, she looked up sharply to see Jane walk into the staff room. Jane was nice enough – a good nurse, and always committed to her work, or she had been until this last week.<p>

"Jane – where did you go?"

"Just upstairs to see … that young man from the factory last week – Mr Crawley."

"Why – you didn't work on him did you?" asked Ethyl, her attention aroused by Jane's deviation from her normal behavior. Anna frowned, Jane was private, but she was never secretive about her self. Something was up

"Jane?"

"I just thought that it would be nice for him to get a visitor … he doesn't get many – his cousin …"

Ethyl shot Anna a glance, she had already decided that Jane was in the midst of a hot and steamy affair with that lawyers cousin. Ethyl was not like Jane, morals and immorality at loggerheads.

"Was he there today?" Asked Ethyl, her interest piqued,

"No – no just a colleague." Ethyl's interest in Jane's love life quickly waned and she sauntered out, waving a copy of Heat in her hand as way of a good bye. Anna's interest however picked up at the mention of a colleague, it could be him … it was unlikely to be him. Could it be him? Ever since she had watched John Bates walk away into his minicab, she had thought about telephoning the factory at least a dozen times, just to hear his voice. Anna gave herself a little shake, downing a mouthful of coffee, she didn't have the time to be behaving like this. Anna Smith was _the _reliable, sensible one, she had worked hard to become a nurse, she had kept her self to her self, she had never gotten involved with amorous doctors at Christmas parties, and yet something about that man had got to her.

A knock at the door aroused her from her reverie, Jane answered the door, Anna couldn't see the figure on the other side, but she recognized the voice.

"Good morning, is Anna Smith in here?"

"Yes … Anna?" Jane stepped to one side allowing in Mr Bates, Anna swallowed hard, her stomach in knots curling up inside her.

"Anna Smith, hello I'm not sure if you remember me … John-"

"Bates, Mr Bates I remember you …" Just shut up, she thought to herself, shut up Anna before you say something properly stupid.

"I'm glad. Mr Crawley, Robert, asked me to bring in these flowers, to say thank you to you all." He produced a bunch of flowers, garish and bright, but the A&E department rarely got gifts and so they were grateful for anything they could get their hands on.

"They're beautiful, I'll go and see if we've got a vase." Said Jane, slipping out the door back into the bustle of the main department. Mr Bates stepped further into the staff room towards Anna.

"Alone at last …" he said, with a sly grin that crept across his face, like a open fire that seemed to warm her up as she stood there. " I wanted to thank you too though, personally for all you did for Mathew, he's a good man."

"It's my job – it was nothing really … but thank you."

"I wondered if you might … if you wanted to go for a meal or a drink … or a meal and a drink. Just to say thank you – don't feel obliged or anything."

"Pity – I was looking forward to being obliged!" he brain froze – what had she just said? A more obvious bit of flirting had yet to be seen this side of the Atlantic. But he laughed, a loud laugh that made Anna blush and grin.

"I have to go, I'm sorry, I'm just on a break … why don't you take my number? Here … " she handed him a crumpled receipt from her purse, with her number scrawled across the back in biro.

Back in the department, holding a paper bucket of vomit, carrying it to the biohazard sink she thought about him, John Bates, she thought about his face. The subtle panic in his eyes as he asked her out, the look of relief when she accepted. Unlike most of the men she met he didn't seem to be full of bravado and ego, which made a change. Rinsing her hands she realised that apart from the stomach churching she got when she saw him, a feeling she had felt before, to varying degrees, she also got a new feeling, of safeness and security. Christ, she thought, this is all very odd.

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><p>Shit, thought Anna, "bugger bugger bugger!" she hissed out loud, she scanned her eyes around her flat, looking for where to start. There was the washing up, the pile of dirty washing that needed to go in the machine and the pile of clean knickers sitting on the sofa, from where she'd been sorting through that morning. She knew that she had maybe 40 seconds at best before he was at her front door, and so she had 40 seconds to make her flat look less like it had been inhabited by a group of students, and more like it belonged to a 27 year old., <em>professional <em>woman, as her Mam always called her – although she tried to discourage it, it made her sound like a high end prostitute. She jammed the clothes, clean and dirty in the washing machine, before adding the dirty plates and mugs to her sink and covering them with her bowl.

Why was he here early? Maybe he was here to break off the evening, maybe he had the wrong time, perhaps she did … the knock on the door came, firm, but hesitant. She could almost hear him calculating the right number of knocks on the door, too few and he might sound flippant, too many sounds impatient.

"Mr Bates, John. Come in – you're early, or am I late … come in." He followed her into the flat, resting her stick against her radiator, he continued into the flat, she motioned to the sofa.

"I came early," he said sitting himself down and unbuttoning his coat, "to give you a chance to retract your reply, to my offer of a meal."

"You don't want to see me tonight do you?"

"No no, I do really I do, but I though perhaps you might … in retrospect, have changed your mind."

"Well I haven't changed my mind, you're a lovely man John. And unless it's all a show, I'd love to spend the evening with a lovely man. Now, where are we off? I'll need to get dressed." As she said this, Anna was suddenly conscious of the fact she was just out of the shower, wrapped in a towel with sopping wet hair.

"MiaBella – in town. Do you eat Italian?"

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><p><em><strong>Thanks - please review - posative and negative - it's all good to hear.<strong>_

_**I'll be putting more chapters up soon!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hey Guys, this one's a little short I know, this and chapter 4 were originally one long chapter but i decided to split it - hope you enjoy anyway!**_

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><p>Matching their steps was hard, but Anna was patient and was enjoying talking to John too much to not keep in rhythm with his out of time steps.<p>

"I'm sorry, it's not very glamorous is it … I really did make a reservation."

"I'm sure you did – don't worry about it, I came for the company, not the food. And I love chips … so it's fine!" she laughed, hoping to cheer him up, he had been gutted when the restaurant said they had no record of his reservation. She could see the burning embarrassment – but it didn't matter, not to her. She enjoyed his company, he made her laugh, and the more time she spent with him, the less her stomach seemed to knot up – which was nice. She began to feel much more comfortable, which she didn't always feel around men. The doubts and worries that normally invaded her mind when she was in close proximity to men seemed to dissipate with each passing minute, every bad joke, and dry witticism.

It was getting darker and colder, so the pair sought refuge in a near by pub, the cold weather made the place packed and steamy. Over the din Anna ordered a gin and tonic, which he brought back, along with a packet of prawn cocktail flavour crisps and a glass of coke.

"Sorry – are you not drinking – I feel bad for starting now." She called into his ear over the noise.

"No no, it's fine I don't drink …" Anna gave him a look; she tried not to look uncomfortable. She had met men before who had done the whole 12 steps thing – they rarely stayed on the wagon and she new that when they did fall off, they generally reverted to their previous self. But despite her reservations she looked in his eyes and couldn't see him as the raging alcoholic, messy things – lives. "Since I give my lungs hell by smoking – I thought I should give my liver a break!" it was his turn to look at her, he had seen the look in her eyes, who was he kidding, she was a nurse – she would see people in this position all the time, she knew the truth – she knew how it worked. "I like the drink – but it doesn't like me so much see. Is that a problem Anna?"

Annother day, with another man she would have said yes – or at least considered her answer first, but with him - as though her brain had no control over her own words she said: "No of course it doesn't – really it doesn't!" She lay a hand on his thigh as he sat next to her. "As long as I don't mess up the program or anything!"

"Mess up the …? Oh Jesus no, I'm not in AA or anything. It's self imposed limitations, I didn't want to end up a washed up old soak, so I kicked it – not easy for an Irishman I tell you now! But hey now look, this is boring – lets do quick fire questions. Best way to get to know someone in my opinion! You start."

"Oh … ummmm, OK – best ever holiday?"

"Prague, 10 years ago, beautiful clock! Earliest memory?"

"Watching my baby brother sleep through the bars of his cot. Favourite food?"

"Pie and mash – steak and kidney. Tell me a secret."

"When I was 8, I was jealous of Mandy Lyon's new doll, it was a Barbie … I stole it, but felt so guilty I buried it in the park – where it remains to this day! Any bad habits?"

"I leave tea-bags on the side of the counter - it even annoys me a little! Crisp? OK then favourite flavour of crisp?"

"Cheese and onion – no doubt about it!"

"Why would a gorgeous young woman like you, be interested in an old crock like me?"

"… It's my go … and your not an old crock at all, you're funny and charming … and quite nice looking I thought. Have a little more faith John, I like you, I really do." She pushed her hand across the table; reaching for his hand she slid her fingers up his cuff, running her fingers along his wrist. Meeting his unblinking eyes she began to lean in, wrapping her free hand around his head, lacing her fingers through his dark hair she kissed him, gently, finding pace. After a moment where he sat wooden, surprised, he waned, his hands finding her waist. He drew her closer.

"Do you want to come back to mine?" she said quickly, as if saying it quickly would make it sound less seedy in her ears. He gently pushed her back into her seat, smiling at her.

"Tempting, but no. Not tonight, it's been a lovely evening, I wouldn't want to make it … uncomfortable. But I'll gladly give you a lift home!" Anna, bruised, stood up to leave.

"Thanks, no – I'll see myself ..."

"Anna!" he grabbed her wrist, standing up he bent to eye level. "I want to say yes, so very much, but I can't not tonight … give me a second chance though. Annother night with you, another chance to make this right."

"Why? Why can't you?"

"Sometimes, what you want and what is right don't correlate."

"You're married – is that it?"

"Once yes – I was, but that's not it."


	4. Chapter 4

_**So - chapter 4, this is part 2 of the longer chapter that is split into 3 and 4. I split it up because I wanted a bit more tension ect.**_

_**hope you all enjoy and review away!**_

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><p>"Well then what?" Anna tried not to sound hurt, but she could tell she was looking it, her face burning up. This was the precise reason why she was so sensible and closed, too many men with baggage, and now she had found a really lovely one, one who made her heart flutter. And when she did try and be open he knocked her back – had she done it wrong? It struck her – 'uncomfortable' was what he said, did he feel like that? Had she made him uncomfortable? She had acted on her heart, a rare experience for her, and it had backfired.<p>

"It's complicated … when I say I was married – I am married, that is to say … legally speaking I'm married. We separated years ago, but it's all very messy and argumental. My wife is a cruel woman who sets out to destroy everything good in my life, she's been known to telephone my landlords and employers and tell them things about me, so that I lose my house or my job. If I took you home, she would seek you out and destroy you too."

"But why? I mean … I understand if she's bitter, but that …"

"Vera is not a normal woman in her emotions, she was always a woman ruled by her heart, with fire in her belly. That's fine when she's happy – but it's very hard when she isn't. She sees any happiness that I achieve in my life without her, as me rubbing her nose in it."

Anna sipped her drink, John Bates had baggage, even by her own standards of Boyfriends with Baggage, he had a hell of a lot.

"So, why did you ask me out then? If you're so worried about her."

"Because I liked you, you made me smile, and once I left the hospital, the day after I met you I couldn't stop thinking about you. And I knew that, even if I only got a nice evening with a beautiful woman, and a friend out of it, it would be worthwhile."

"You should stop calling me beautiful."

"Why?"

"Because it's starting to make me feel bad, I try and jump you – and you just sit there calling me beautiful."

"Point taken, so now you know my dark and murky past – or the beginnings of it at least. Oh yeah – there's more, I'm a crack dealing kitten murderer too. No – come on, tell me about you, I doubt you can compete in the mad ex-wife category, but you must have at least one Skelton in the cupboard?"

"No – sorry, lots of dull and rude ex's with more issues than … something with a lot of issues?"

"John Prescott?"

"Satire – I like it! I am sorry – for propositioning you, I just … you know."

"I don't mind, and as I said – another day, another time, another situation – I'd have taken you up on the offer."

"Would you like to come back to mine? Just for a cup of tea, not for my own nefarious motives."

"I will you know – yes."

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><p>Anna stepped back into the living room, closing the door with her foot in a vague attempt to shield John from the mess of the kitchen. She handed John a mug of tea, dark – no sugar. He had taken off his coat for the first time that evening, his suit was nice, nicer than Anna was used to. Doctor's in the hospital were always being covered in various bodily fluids – so no-one wore anything that they didn't mind getting covered in crap. A well fitted suit, Anna decided, was extremely attractive.<p>

"So," he began, "tell me, nurse, 26 years old, questionable taste in men … what makes you happy, you tick?"

"Oh I don't know. And why do you want to know?"

"Because it's important to know, what makes people happy, and knowing makes yourself happy is very important." It was one thing to say I don't know, but to confront the idea that one has no idea what made them happy was a scary prospect.

"I'd like to travel, to see more than just my own back garden. I don't want to turn into my parents, no idea of what's out there, across the sea being just as far away and un conceivable as going to the moon."

"I think that's an admirable ambition. If you want to travel can I recommend Prague, five in the morning, Charles Bridge – before everyone else arrives, just you and the dawn light and – it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen." And it sounded like it probably was thought Anna, it seemed so sad to her, that the world out there existed, but that she had never seen it. She saved up her holiday time, always intending to go off somewhere new, and exciting and different. But invariably spent it re-grouting the bathroom or painting the living room.

"John, I know what you said, but … I don't accept it. About your wife I mean. I want to see you again, properly, see you again on more than one occasion – see you regularly. I know how you feel about us becoming close – but … can we at least see each other again?"

"I think I'd enjoy that."


	5. Chapter 5

_**So - Chapter 5! It's a bit fluffy, but as we know from the "reeal" DA - the fluffy stuff comes before the misery and gloom!**_

_**Please review - and please enjoy!**_

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><p>John caught his arm around Anna's waist, pulling her into him under his coat, against his shirt. Anna could feel the warmth of his body through the fabric and she could hear the hissing bangs of the fireworks in the park behind the house but Anna didn't care, she was too busy enjoying the internal silence of their moment together. Sliding a hand up his shirt, Anna ran her nails down the base of him spine, jumping as she heard their names being called behind her, the couple span on their heels to face the source of the voice.<p>

"Come in you two, you must be frozen to the bone – happy new year!" Michael O'Reilly, one of John's oldest friends had invited to them Dublin to see in the New Year. It was cold and damp, but it was by far the most enjoyable couple of days Anna had spent in a long time, her evenings curled up in John's arms in their bed. It had taken a lot of persuading but she had finally convinced him that she wanted to spend her nights with him, he was reluctant at first, always reluctant to have her in his house, and equally reluctant to come to hers. Always aware of his ex-wife and her always unfailing ability to know the ins and outs of his private life and to use them against him. But here now in Dublin, away from their respective homes, the 'other time' that John had spoken of all those nights ago in the pub in Leeds had come, and Anna was genuinely content, she found that although she enjoyed her job and her life before John, but she felt a certain sense of completeness now in her life, although to voice that out loud would seem like some kind of dereliction of feminist duty to suggest that she needed a man to feel complete.

Sat in Michael's kitchen drinking the last dregs of the cava bottle, Anna was besieged with questions that her hosts had been too polite and sober to ask for the past 2 days.

"Ok, so now I have to know Anna – what's the … deal – I mean your … well … what are you doing with John. Your great for him, I haven't seen him this happy in God knows how long – but … what are _you _doing?"

"Christ you're a fine one to talk Michael – never seen a man with more inappropriate girlfriends than you." Said John laughing, even though he laughed Anna could feel his position shift in the chair in discomfort, she knew he that John had insecurities about their relationship even in its most basic and infantile form, reaching over she squeezed his arm she wanted him to know that despite his own insecurities she was happy.

"The deal? The deal is – I like him, he's a sweet kind man who makes me happy, very happy, happier than I've been in a long time I think." She smiled, and really felt like she had something to smile about, she had a man who had taken her away to Dublin for New Year's Eve and a man who Anna thought she was in danger of serious falling for, perhaps a man she had already fallen for.

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><p>Tiptoeing into the kitchen, Anna flicked the kettle on; the dawn was breaking through the glass windows making even the drunken detritus from the last night's party look pretty in the dappled half-light that only a winter's daybreak can bring. It was cold dressed only in John's shirt and the icy tiles burned her feet but Anna enjoyed it, the cool quiet came soothing to her minor hangover, although she was sure she had fared better than the houses other occupants. She heard a groan behind her, turning to see Michael rising off the sofa, the imprint of the sofa fabric had left a pinkish indent on his cheek where he had fallen asleep on the armrest. He staggered to his feet, bending over he leant his forehead against the counter top.<p>

"Good morning Anna, how did you sleep?

"Well thanks," she lied, but she wasn't in the mood to reveal why she had been very awake until quite recently . "Do you fancy a cup of tea? Or Coffee?"

"Tea thanks, you're an angel. Here you know I did mean what I said last night, you're a god thing for John, he hasn't been happy in a long while, his wife's been … ach – you're good for him that's all."

"No go on, what about his wife – do you know why they're not divorced?" Michael sighed, taking a sip of the steaming cup of tea, he had known John a long time, he had been John's best man and had seen his best friend be broken down by Vera, bewitching beautiful all those years ago – but bad news for John.

"Vera and John weren't a … healthy couple, they were built on passion, when they fought they would row like you never heard, John wasn't the same man that his is now, he still drank then and they would fight and scream and lash out, one of them would leave and then a few days later, a week sometimes, they would be back together. They separated about 10 years ago, they had been married about 17 years and Vera was bitter, she thought he would come back to her – so she wouldn't give him a divorce and he never seemed to want to push it, if he kept his head down she didn't bother him, when he went after her for a divorce then she was back in his life."

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><p>Anna slipped back into the bed, she heard John hiss as her cold toes went down the back of legs. Placing the cups on the bedside table she curled into his back kissing his shoulder, he was warm against her cold skin, her teeth chattered against his neck.<p>

"Jesus woman – you are bloody freezing. Come here…" he turned around in the bed, so that they were face to face, wrapping his arms around her he pulled her to him, kissing her on the top of her head. Tracing her fingers along his back though his pyjama t-shirt Anna smelled his scent, inhaling deeply.

"How's your leg? Some of my patients hate the cold, it freezes up the pins."  
>"My knees' fine – it doesn't hurt very often really, it just gets stiff and a bit awkward. Which given it got smashed by a metal press is very impressive – I am eternally in debt to all medical professionals the world over."<br>"I'll hold you to that! John … why don't you get a divorce from your wife? If you did we wouldn't have to sneak around." She leant back to look him in the eye, he looked back at her, a half smile on his lips.

"She won't give me one, she says 'in my opinion the marriage is not irretrievably broken down'"

"But why?"

"Because that would make me happy – and that's one thing that Vera won't do and she knows that I can't afford to fight it, and I don't want to see more of her than I have to and so probably won't push it. Do you really want me to though?"

"I would – if it's the only way I get to see more of you. But I know it's a lot to ask, I've known you 4 months … "  
>"OK I'll look into it again – I'd probably have to see a bit less of you, for the next month or so. If Vera thought I was after a divorce because of another woman then she'd never give me one."<p>

"I can cope with that – If I get you afterwards … all of you."


	6. Chapter 6

_**OK - so here we have chapter 6 (if my counting is up to scratch!) **_

_**I think we have perhaps 2 more chapters to go - this is a bit of a gloomy one, here's hoping it'll get better soon!**_

_**Keep on reviewing - it's great to hear what you think!**_

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><p>"Well I don't think you should trust him – you're telling me that he's going to leave his wife for you? <em>Hold still now Mr Beaching – we've just got to stich it up and then you can go<em>."

"I know how it sounds Ethyl – but it's not like that. He's just going to divorce her … for me. _Mr Beaching – if you don't hold still I can't stich this! _Jesus is that worse?"

"I'm not sure …"

"I think it sounds more promising- at least you're not the other woman!"

"Thanks Gwen – always the optimist."

"Optimism only gets you so far Anna, you can't listen to Gwen all the bloody time, _Jesus Mr Beaching – have you had this looked at? It looks septic … _I think you need to call him, you haven't seen him in 6 weeks, he hasn't called you since you got back from Dublin. So call him, get a … progress report. _Mr Beaching I'm going to have to get a doctor to look at this … just to be sure – and hold still or the nurse can't stich up neatly."_

_"How did you do this again Mr Beaching? …. Well what were you doing sticking it in a tin of beans? Oh I see – It wasn't a tin of beans – it was a tin of all day breakfast – well that makes sense!_ Here Gwen – did you hear about our Daisy – and William – as in our Dr Mason?"

"No - no-one tells me nothing you know! Go on."

"Well it looks like their completely un secret, secret relationship is well and truly out of the bag – all over each other at that med school ball that Williams been bleating on about for 6 months."

"How do you know?"

"Well – you know Kerri-Anne in Maternity, the one with the lazy eye? Yeah, well her husband's brother is a van driver for a catering company, and his step daughter does waitressing for the company and she was there – she saw the whole thing and when she got home, she told her step dad, who told his brother who told Kerri-Anne in maternity – who told me."

"Why? I mean why did they all care?"

"Because he was flirting with some blond girl with a dress down to here and a skirt up to here, and so when Daisy had finally had enough and knocked over said blond girl – she fell into an ice sculpture of a man getting a prostate exam."

"Why would you have that as an ice sculpture?"

"Medical school humour I suppose …"

* * *

><p><p>

Anna deposited he bag with a sigh on her floor beside the front door, she sighed and inhaling could immediately smell the burning tang of cigarette smoke. Stepping into the living room she could see John, sat in the dim light coming in through the window, waning light now that it was 4 o'clock.

"I'm sorry, I had to use your spare key, you should get a new hiding place, not terribly original – blu tacked to the top of the door frame."  
>"What's wrong John – you're smoking – that means there's something wrong." He laughed, a hollow laugh, he seemed to Anna to be smaller in his coat, he was greyer – and Anna could see the fight had gone out of him. "Oh yes I'm smoking again – it's my second packet today – that equals a pretty bloody shit day in anyone's book."<p>

"John – what is it?"

"It's my wife – she's found out about you, and she's threatening to destroy you. She's all set up to get you removed from the nursing register, she will get you blacklisted and struck off – you will never work again. Unless I go back to her – unless I go back to her with my wages and savings and my house and I return to being her husband."

"But I don't care – not about my job – John I love you – I'm sorry but I do, and you don't want this – not really do you?" She grabbed his elbow, willing him to hold her back, but she could see that he wouldn't, he didn't meet her eyes, looking over her head. Seeing tears in his eyes she started to cry, to feel as she did about John Bates, and then have him pull away from her broke her heart. She tried to force him to look at her, a hand on his cheek. But still he pulled away, carefully pushing her back away from him. And he left, full of hope though she had been an hour before, Anna felt everything inside her deflate, as though John Bates had punctured her. Tears welling up she collapsed on the sofa, onto her side, exhausted and broken hearted.

* * *

><p><p>

John walked down the street, it was a warm May day but that was no reason for him to be out walking the streets. Even more, it was no reason for him to be walking towards the hospital. He stopped, leaning against a bollard and lighting a cigarette, he could see the entrance to the A&E department. Even from 20 feet away he knew every notch in the peeling metal support struts, every pitted greying cigarette burn in the hospitals sign. He had even begun to recognise the regulars who seemed to come to the hospital every day, little old ladies desperate for the company and warmth, drug addicts hoping to scam some morphine. Among these people who skirted the outsides of society he sometimes, just sometimes, saw her. Standing outside, drinking her cup of tea, seeing of a patient or making her way home on her bicycle. Every time he saw he would remember how she looked curled up in bed with him, or how it felt with his arms around her – and although he tried no to he would remember how she cried when he told her he had to leave and how she had told him that she loved him. It had been a long time since anyone had told him that – and even longer since he had felt the same to someone else. It broke his heart every-time he saw her, but still he came to look at her, to watch her.

Life with Vera was miserable, worse than he remembered from all those years ago. She was always a cruel woman, but in the intervening years she had become worse, a kind of dark malevolence seemed to have descend over her. He saw the bitterness in her eyes and he hated her, hated everything about her. She was like a cruel puppet master, she was enjoying having a husband again, enjoying having a husband with a good salary and enjoying spending his savings. And she, with her connections and powers of persuasion, was ready to do whatever she could to keep her man, and to keep him away from Anna. "This has to end …" he thought aloud, he saw her now, Anna stood just outside the doorway, a mug of tea clasped in her hands. Her blue tunic moving in the wind, he hair pulled back into a ponytail, she was watching the steam come out of her mug and then suddenly, as if he had fired a starling pistol she jerked her head up, and saw him, her eyes locked into his from across the car park. He saw her straighten up, and make a start towards him, and while every part of him wanted to do the same, to move towards her, but instead he stubbed out his cigarette with the toe of his boot on the Tarmac and turned away walking back up the street the way he had come, willing himself not to turn around and look at her even though he could feel her watching him from behind.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Here is chapter 7, chapter 8 - the final part is in the making - so I'll try and get that up soooooon!**_

_**I hope you enjoy this one! And as always - please review, I always love to hear what you guys think of my story!**_

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><p>She had seen him, seen him watching her across the car park, she had seen him but when she had made towards him, he had walked away – and not looked back. John Bates seemed to be an expert in breaking her heart. She stood on the pavement, watching his faint shape disappear up the road, she wanted to shout out for him, to call him back, but instead she just watched him go.<p>

It took her almost 3 days of staring at her mobile phone, of watching the number 27 bus, that stopped outside the hospital and then carried on up towards the industrial estate where the factory was, and imagining just deciding to get on and see him.

It wasn't until Thursday, in A&E, she let herself into the staffroom, found an old bettered copy of the yellow pages under the sink, propped up to keep an onslaught of bleach and anti-bacterial spray cleaners from falling out every time someone opened the cupboard door. The number was clear, under 'metal pressing' and 'factories' 0113 402 453 … pausing, her fingers hovering over the buttons on her mobile, she swallowed, and then dialled before she could change her mind.

The ringing at the other end seemed to go on for an age before some-one picked up,

"Hello, Baines metal pressing – Leeds." came the cool voice on the other end, clear and crisp.

"Hello ... Yes hello ... I need to speak to John Bates please, he's one of your floor managers..."

"Right, one moment please." the line buzzed gently as the woman went silent, Anna could hear the tapping of the woman's fingers on her keyboard.

"OK – he's in cutting, can I ask what it's regarding."

"I'm … working for his landlord – I need to speak to him." She didn't want to lie – but she didn't want him to know – she - just for a little while, wanted the upper hand.

"I'll just put you through." The line was filled with a tiny rendition of Danse Macabre, before there was a click and she could hear his voice amid a cacophony of clanking and cracking in the background.

"John Bates … Hello? This is John Bates speaking … look if this is about those electrics again then I've told you before I moved out a fortnight ago, I left – it's all in Vera Bates' name now. You can telephone her at work – I have nothing to do with that woman or the damn house anymore." Anna waited, she wanted to say something – anything – 'good' 'thank god' ' great – now we can ...'. But instead she just stopped, she had nothing to say to him, he had come to look at her, but that meant nothing. If he felt for her as she felt for him then he would have spoken to her, instead he had said nothing, he had walked away from her.

"Anna, we've got a stabbing coming in, ETA 4 minutes." Said a voice from behind her, "Anna – come on, we need you in resus!" came the voice again, she turned seeing Mr Carson standing in the doorway. She hung up the call, switching off her phone she threw the mobile in her locker and followed Mr Carson out. John Bates would have to wait; it was time for her to get down to the business in hand.

* * *

><p>He had heard it, just as he had almost pushed down the button in the cradle to hang up on the caller, he had heard someone in the background, at her end saying "Anna …" She had called him, she had seen him in the car park and decided to call him. He jammed down the receiver into the cradle, dialling 1471 – 3, the number went straight to answer phone.<p>

"Bugger …" He cast his eye over the floor, the line was going fine, he could slip away for a moment. In the office he found Karan, she was small and slim and, whenever possible, very helpful.

"Karan, I need to you get a number for me – A&E at Jimmy's… thanks." He took the phone from her, it was ringing, the line seemed to ring for silly long time, was it just him, or would you think answering the phone quickly in an A&E department would be a priority.

"Hello, St James's Accident and Emergency …"

"Hello – I'm sorry, I need to speak with Nurse Anna Smith?"

"Anna? What – no you can't… she's …" The man on the phone didn't sound right, he sounded as though he was watching a slow motion car crash – unable to help, but unable to turn away. There was shouting in the background, calling out, barely audible over the line.

" ANNA! … need A+ … where did he go? … lift … 1 2 3 … get her in … police … ANNA!" The man on the other end of the telephone had gone quiet, too quiet.

"Excuse me – hello? What's happened to Anna – is she OK?"

" … I don't know, what? No she's been stabbed …" and then the purr of the dialling tone filled John's ear.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry, but if you're not a family member then we really can't tell you anything. If you leave your name with Gwen here, then we can contact you."<p>

"I just need to see that she's OK – please."

"Sir if you're not prepared to leave a name then …"

"Please I'm begging you – let me see her… My name is John Bates, and I'm in love with he … I made a mistake and now I'm paying price. Please … please let me see her."

"You're John?"

"You know this man Gwen?"

"I … Are you _the_ John? The one she's been after for the last 9 months?"

"I'm afraid so."

"It's OK Mr Carson – I know who he is."

"I'm Gwen Mr Bates, I work with Anna, she told me about the two of you."

"How is she, is she OK? What happened?"

"She's not great Mr Bates, I'm sorry. This lad came in stabbed, and then there was a fight among his friends in the foyer, she tried to intervene and this man, he just lunged at her with a knife. It looks like it's missed everything major, but she's lost a lot of blood."


	8. Chapter 8

_**Here we are, chapter 8, the final installment - I hope you enjoy it!**_

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><p>She stood there on the bridge, her belly resting against the cool stone edge of the wall. He was right, the bridge was beautiful especially in the dawn, when the tourists and the traders hadn't yet arrived. She exhaled deeply, she was a little out of breath – she was still not quite back on fighting form after her accident, the scar along her hip where the man had stuck the knife in still ached. She should have taken her time but she was anxious to be there for 6 in the morning.<p>

When she had come round in the hospital and seen Gwen there she had felt woozy, as though she had been asleep for the past week. Although it had only been three days, the doctors told her that she had lost almost 4 pints of blood, emergency blood transfusions, emergency arterial surgery and a few moments when everyone thought that she was a goner. She had no memory of the incident, or the intervening 3 days – but Gwen had told her about John, sitting beside her bed from the moment she had come out of the operating theatre, never letting going of her hand even while he slept.

"He's gone home, he left about 2 hours ago, he was dead to the world – barely able to keep his eyes open."

Over the next two weeks in hospital Anna hadn't seen John, everyday she asked and everyday she was told he had called to check up on her – be he never came. And it broke her heart. But then, arriving back at her flat she saw all he had done, her flat had been cleaned to within an inch of it's life, her bed changed with new crisp white cotton bed-linen. A bunch of bright yellow gerberas in a vase on the table, and resting against the vase was an envelope addressed to Anna Smith in soft blue inked copperplate handwriting.

_Dear Anna,_

_I'm sorry, I truly truly am, for everything I have put you through for the past 9 months. That day we met was the greatest in all my life, I met you and ever since you have occupied my every thought. You have changed me beyond recognition, when I met you I was a shadow of who I had been once before. But you changed me, and being away from you, back with Vera I saw the truth, that you had changed me into a good happy man.  
>You are a truly wonderful woman Anna Smith, I've never met a better woman in all my life. I know that I can hardly be considered good enough to be yours, but I wish I were. I wish I could think that I wouldn't be doing you a disservice by going to you, and asking for a second chance. But I am asking for a second chance, another chance with you, another chance to show you that I could be the right man for you. If you still want me of course, I realise that there is little chance of that, but I do want you, I love you, more than you can possibly imagine. Watching you laying in that hospital bed, looking so small and pale and quiet, I knew that I couldn't carry on with life thinking I had given up the chance to be with you, given up my chance of being with you for the rest of my life.<br>I've spent the last couple of weeks with my lawyer, he thinks I have an excellent case to divorce Vera, I can't do it without her consent obviously but I can prove without a doubt that our marriage is irrevocably destroyed. Soon I'll be rid of her and her hold over me. I left you without ever really getting the chance to tell you my motives. Vera has had a hold over me for a long time, more of a hold than you know. The power to destroy me and take away everything because she knows more about me than I would have you know. But you should know – you should be fully aware of the facts before I ask you to take me back. In 2004 I was sent to prison, I was imprisoned for Grievous Bodily Harm towards a officer of the Garda Siochana . In 2004 I was still drinking, I was deeply unhappy, I was not the man I am today. That is no excuse, and I have never forgiven myself. I was tanked up on Whisky and I was fuming, Vera and I had had a blazing row, a plate throwing screaming the walls down row, and she called the Garda, told them I had attacked them, I hadn't – you have to know that, I never raised a hand to her. But the Garda came to find me at the pub, and when they did I was fuming, angry and I lashed out I punched and kicked this Garda lad. I'm sorry – but you had to know. I have never forgiven myself, and Vera made sure of that. Anytime I left her, she would telephone my employer and tell them everything, some of it true, some of it fiction – she would say I was abusive – still drinking … the works.  
>In this envelope, is a flight to Prague, meet me on the Charles bridge, on the 3rd of June, 6 in the morning – but only if you want to. Meet me there, if you want to make us work – and I will be yours for as long as you'll have me. But, if you choose not to come, having heard all this about me then I shall understand – and never darken your door way again.<em>

_Good Bye – I love you always _

_John_

* * *

><p>"You came? Thank Christ – I was afraid you wouldn't."<p>

"John, hello, you look awful." Anna took a step towards him, she wanted to keep back to show him how hurt she was, but instead she threw her arms around him, holding him close to her and smelling him, the warm smell of his body that reminded her of all those months ago back in Dublin. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tightly in. He traced his fingers along her shoulder and spine – making her sigh remembering those nights they spent together in Dublin.

"I'm exhausted. I barely slept last night – I was worried you wouldn't come."

"Why didn't you visit me at the hospital? I needed to see you John, I wanted to see you."

"I'm sorry, I wanted to but I was afraid you wouldn't want to see me, after I treaded you like such a … utter bastard." Anna looked at him, pushing herself out of his hug to look into his eyes, she loved his eyes, they were dark and deep and made her feel safe.

"You weren't that bad – you did what you thought was right, and I can't blame you for that. But I will blame you for not telling me the truth before " She reached up to kiss him, wincing as her stomach stretched against the month old scar. "I love you John Bates – for everything you have done for me, you've even given me up because you thought it was the right thing for me, and you brought me here, to see this – to share your favourite city with you."

"I love you Anna, and there is no-one I would rather share this with than you. Would you … would you like to come back to my room, it's beautiful – I can get you breakfast – if you'd like …"

"I would – I would like that I great deal."

* * *

><p><p>

Anna lay on the bed as John lay beside her, propped up on his elbow looking at her. He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the sides, she could hear his breathing, feel his warm breath on her neck as he leant in to kiss her, moving his arm to rest on her belly. She stretched out her arm, running her fingers through his hair finding his lips with her own, he slid his hand down to the waist band of her jeans easing his fingers under her tee-shirt to the warm skin of her belly. She dropped a hand to his wrist holding it back, breaking away from his mouth she averted her gaze, staring down his body.

"Please, let me see."  
>"It's really ugly, like a big … tear."<br>"Anna … if it's part of you – it really can't be that ugly." Anna nodded slightly, barely moving her head, and John pushed up the hem of her tee-shirt until he could see the 3 inch long scar, pink and shiny along her hip. He ran a ringer along its length bending in slowly to kiss it.

"I've seen a lot worse … and so have you, in your line of work you know how bad this could be. You're beautiful Anna, beautiful with or without your scar, and even if you weren't still the most beautiful woman in the world, you're alive – and for me, that's a gift!" Reaching down, Anna placed a hand behind his head, guiding his head back up to face her.  
>"Thank you. For everything John, for coming back to me, and for telling me the truth." She kissed him gently on the lips, getting into their rhythm the kisses became firmer as he began to work his way down her neck and collarbone. He paused when he reached the collar of the tee-shirt, checking her face before he carried on, running his hand down the edge of her body, stopping at the swell of her hip he eased off her top. Anna carefully unbuttoned his shirt, running her fingers over his chest, feeling the strong body beneath his skin.<p>

This, Anna decided, was one of the moments in her life that should stay with her for ever, a man, who she loved to distraction had brought her to this beautiful city, taken her to this fantastic hotel with it's dark crimson curtains and the window that opened out onto the old town square, with the fresh cool morning air pouring in with the smell of bread and noise of quiet bustle creeping up in the breeze.

* * *

><p>"Will you marry me?"<p>

"Well I'm a bit tired right now …"

"Is it your scar?"

"No it's you John Bates, you've worn me out! Do you mean it?"

" Of course – of course I do, I would never joke about that."

"Even with your track record you'd want to?"

"You're no Vera – not even close Anna. You're so much greater, and so … I'm proposing. Is that silly?"

"Yes, but not a stupid as I would be to send you away … so yes I will marry you, but not now – not just yet. I'm too careful to be heady. If you'll wait, wait until we're both at a level footing then I'll be your bride, your wife and mother to your children – for ever and a day."

"I can accept that, I would accept anything to be with you."

* * *

><p><em><strong>The end - I've really enjoyed writing this, and I hope you've enjoyed reading it just as much!<strong>_

_**Please review if you enjoyed, and review if you didn't - always good to here!**_

_**Thank you!**_


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